Living With an Alcoholic Partner During Lockdown

My ex-husband is an alcoholic. Around lockdown, things got worse. He would disappear for hours and come back drunk. He lied. He was verbally abusive. The next day he would apologise and promise it wouldn’t happen again. And I believed him.

Even though I was married, I felt completely alone. I didn’t know who I was married to anymore. There were three of us in our marriage: him, me and the booze. And the booze always came first, sadly.

The Cycle of Addiction, Apology and False Hope

I left many times, but I always went back. Until one day I said, “You either give up the alcohol, or I leave.”

The Moment I Knew I Had to Leave

He told me I was being unreasonable. That’s when I knew he would never choose me over it.

So I left, one of the hardest decisions of my life but certainly one I don’t regret.

It was terrifying. I felt very alone. Being single again meant starting over socially and emotionally. But I found strength in friends who understood. We were there for each other. These friends were my lifeline.

Leaving wasn’t just the end of a marriage. It was the beginning.

My story does have a happy ending. I’m now with someone who shows up, who is kind, steady and honest. Love no longer feels like walking on eggshells. It feels safe. It feels mutual. And for the first time in a long time, I feel truly valued and happy.